I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
