it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
