Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
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"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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