Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize