i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
