never play flip cup with pint glasses
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
