She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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