you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
