I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
