can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
