and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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