the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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