I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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