Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
