i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
