If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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