boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
