My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
