"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
