should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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