i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
