he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sext me about skeletons
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
