I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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