Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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