The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
