she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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