if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
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How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
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So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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