You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
