i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
