I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips