I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
