there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I touched a dick in church today
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?