I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital