Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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