your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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