is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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