he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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