you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
