Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
