Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
