I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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