this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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