How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
