I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
