I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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