smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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