return my video game
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
