my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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