dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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