Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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