What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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