Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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