Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's the barista slut.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
