No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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