i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
