Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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