Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Help. Why am I so naked?
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