But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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