Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize