just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
